A letter not sent...

-
To
Don't know to whom it is of concern,


I have been through 50 years of my life journey and today when I look back, I find that there have been many things untold, many deeds undone and many wishes unfulfilled...
I was an ambitious girl, with a way of my own.I had my set of rules, independent nature, and my own world of dreams and aims.. I wanted to become a dancer.. Dancing had always been my passion, and love.. But then, I never knew how and when time glided away , but with its pace, it washed away my dreams and passions as well.... There came a turning point in my life - My Marriage..!!


I was married to a person who treated Life more as a race, rather than Life itself..He had his own set of ambitions.. and had every capability to achieve it.. He used to succeed in all his goals.. His touch to his aims was a midas touch.With that his aims grew.. But then he only knew how to run with time and succeed, but never knew what a moment.. or a memory in life meant.. His calculation about life was different. Ofcourse he was happy with his statistics.. and contented.. But then, there is ME,..!! 

What I knew was he wasn't a bad guy, But also not my kind of guy.. Life started becoming a  lonely journey through a dark tunnel, a duty... All I needed was his attention and time, but then outcome was only Despair..!
He had no time nor value for what I was longing because his logical mind showed him no reason for me to be unhappy... 
Yes, logically I had every material need one needs to be happy and live a comfortable Life.A husband who had no bad habits, children who grew into succesfull and dynamic ones , a social status, and a bank balance more than enough for a comfortable living...
But beyond all this I had an yearning.. I wanted a feeling of being loved, being needed..
I never knew what a candle light dinner meant.. 
How a walk under moonlight with your loved one meant...
What a compliment meant..
How beautiful u feel, in presence of ur loved one meant...
What a holiday trip means..
What a  hot cup of  coffee on a winter morning meant..
What a conversation with loud laughs meant..
What teasing  each other meant...


These were all just fantasies for me.. Faaaar away from reality...!!
And today he lied there just in front of me motionless...tired after running a life's race... in peace...
I dint know if I was made even more lonely.. or was just ordered by ruthless destiny,to continue being lonely..but all I can say is life became even worse... and lifeless as it was and as it is going to be...


What all I can say to men who feel they don't understand women is all that we need is your time... your solace... your love, affection and your attention.. 
A small word of your praise will make our day..
A lil word of comfort will make us forget our tiredness...
A Confidence of YOU being there, make our Life and our World..!!!!!


                                                                                                                      - Anonymous

Comments

  1. manasa26 February 2012 at 17:34

    This is a really moving account of a woman's deep feelings..very philosophical and poetic too!Awesome! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. avinash26 February 2012 at 18:39

    Another fantastic post.. you have a great skill of writing good articles.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Shiva Sarath26 February 2012 at 18:53

    Thanks for giving a good reminder on how we should be post marriage or during a relationship....

    A good awakening post :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. sribindu27 February 2012 at 10:36

    Well said hema :) Its a deep-down certainty in most of womens' life.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rajeswari27 February 2012 at 12:03

    Giving loud voice to a lonely woman's silent feelings!

    Many women out there in the world might be looking at their hearts' deepest feelings reflecting in this letter! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Avi27 February 2012 at 13:06

    Touch chesav daling....
    yet another masterpiece from the master.......
    very good thought,very good execution...i think men will understand women well from now on... atleast i do... :) ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Resh27 February 2012 at 21:12

    The pain which most women tend not to think about... very well said and realized.. I was touched reading it.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Apurva29 February 2012 at 17:15

    simply superb hems..!!

    I never knew what a candle light dinner meant..
    How a walk under moonlight...... ... these 8 lines very aptly described wht a gal needs...

    i hope this post will bring atleast a fraction of change in the way guys think...:-D

    hems, whom so ever u marry just ask him to read this post...;)..im sure he will be spellbound!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Srikar16 March 2012 at 07:01

    adhirindhi :) touch chesav :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ishan9 April 2012 at 21:43

    Hema,

    Where were you??

    Here's a small poem to all the four posts you wrote here!! Pardon me, for the poem doesn't rhyme. But for me, poem is about saying what I feel, irrespective of whether it rhymes or not!!

    Hoping you will like it!!

    You strike in the eye of a storm,
    You change its direction,
    You hit it with your words,
    Just one question, where were you till now??

    Walking on the sand,
    You pick up a pearl,
    Filled with feelings unrecognized and emotions unspoken,
    And you throw it far and hard,
    That it breaks into a scintillating brightness,
    Enlightening everyone around,
    Engulfing us all into a guilty darkness,
    Where were you till now?

    You give voice to the countless thoughts,
    Washing you over and over again,
    Creating that magical Aha! moment for us,
    Isn't writing meant to do just that??
    It was unjust that you were behind the unseen veil,
    For so long, for so long!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hema10 April 2012 at 11:35

      Ishan, Your poem sounds even more btr than my posts...:) Loved it....!!
      I still wonder Im worth it or not, But U have an excellent way wid ur words...
      A big THANK YOU is what all I can say....

      Delete
    2. Resh9 June 2012 at 09:54

      Ishaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan !!! tht was a good one !!! :):):)

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Freedom

-
Image
Rahul Arora, has been lying on the bed in an ICU ,in one of the renowned Multi specialty hospital for the last 15 days. He is on ventilator , all his parts are almost damaged except his brain and heart and he has been waiting for his heart to stop pounding. All the people around him whom he has been thinking to be of his own, are in their own states of mind.Some of them are sad, some of them are bored visiting him, some of them have been waiting for his death and  some waiting to heir his fortune! He never imagined a day of this sort being a multi millionaire , he thought he is invincible!! Now here he is waiting for his own death very desperately....The heart stopped pounding..And Then,  He got his freedom! Raju,never felt he belonged to that place. He has been a loner, introvert who never wanted to mingle with other kids , all of the different age groups, not even with the ones of his age. Many questions, many dreams, lot of anguish and pain, longing for love, waiting...
Read more

Am I being Me?

-
When you think of the word UNIQUE, what comes to mind? Different Unusual Weird Uncommon Only one of its kind This list will go on and on. But  Are we aware of what sets us apart from everyone else who does what we do?... Hmm let me put it more straight.. Are you aware of what sets you apart from everyone else who does what you do?.. Well this isnt just a question for you, its for me as well..Well, My answer is Im still exploring... If you and I were selling some product on opposite street corners and had been given the same sales training we would still sell it  differently. If you and I were given a picture and imagine, wo would obviously get different thougts.... If you and I were were given a hundred rupee note, both of us would spend it differently.... Why? Because we both bring a unique factor to the product. Your unique factor is….YOU! It’s tempting to follow the crowd and copy someone else and it appears to be so much easier Sometimes we get so obsessed and trapp...
Read more

Unmask yourself!

-
Pause for a moment. Well, Yes, pause for a moment because it has become the toughest thing today. We are continuously busy doing something or nothing. Take a few deep breaths closing your eyes and forgetting the world. Just pause. Pause in silence, in solitude and in calmness. With a smile of no reason continue the pause.  Well, now let's think about answering some questions.  Am I happy?  If not, what will make me happy? Can I be continuously happy and joyful?  If not what is the alternative emotion that I chose to be? Am I sleeping with a sense of satisfaction and gratitude? Or with resentment and regret?  If it's the latter, what is the reason? Am I intense ? Intense that I lose myself, lose track of time and space  in doing something?  Well then, What is that something?  Am I loving my family, or my friends or someone atleast one ,  without any reason , any transaction, any rules, any expectation but only with boundless love that I don't ...
Read more